When I was going to college I used to park in the same place and walk the same directions to and from class every day. I went to a school in downtown Seattle. There were lots of homeless people everywhere. I’ve always battled between giving money or food, whether it’s a good thing or not. I still battle with it; I just make a new decision about each situation as it comes.
Regardless of those very difficult moral issues, that’s not what I want to discuss today. There was an old man who often sat on a patch of grass on the side of the street where I used to park my car. I’d walk right passed him often. He didn’t beg or ever make eye contact. He was just there, doing nothing, feeling pathetic and hopeless I imagined. I don’t mean that to be condescending, by the way, I say that because I’ve felt the same and imagine that’s what I’d be thinking if I were in his shoes.
Anyway, sometimes he was there and sometimes he wasn’t. I like to help when I can and as a student I didn’t have much extra money anyway. So one day I was headed to my car as usual, but in a rather happy mood. As I walked by him I simply said, “Hello!” with a simple, cordial smile — the type you’d give a stranger just to be courteous. He looked at me and said, “Thank you for acknowledging my existence.” With what seemed like a shock, maybe a wee tear, and maybe a wee smile just barely at the corner of his mouth.
I wish I could say I remember what happened next. I’d like to think I said, “Of course, you’re a human being.” And I probably thought it in my head. But to be honest, it all happened as I was walking by and I may have just smiled again, maybe with a nod and kept going… probably not fully realizing what had just happened and not knowing what to do. It all sunk in later; and being so many years ago, it’s still a moment that I’ll never forget.
I know what it’s like to be completely lonely. To be far away from family and friends. And have no one around you who cares about you, or calls you wanting to know how you are, let alone wanting to enjoy your company. It sucks!
My sister, the sociology major, has often said to me “Humans are social creatures.” It’s been ingrained in me, she has said it so much. We need each other! We need help in skills we lack, we need to give where our skills excel and we need love, laughter and affection.
Remember those orphanages in Romania in the 80’s (or maybe it was Russia). Many of the babies died because they were not physically touched because there just were not enough caregivers, and many others had psychological difficulties as they grew up. This bonding and love through physical touch, hearing someone’s voice, seeing others smiling back at you and spending quality time together is actually essential for our physical and emotional well-being.
That man’s shock at my simple “hello” so poignantly demonstrates how we all need attention, love and companionship in all forms. May we care enough for others to express it in word and deed. May we reach out to those we have lost touch with. May we mend all relationships that ended sourly.
Bliss and Abundance!!!
Hope Grace Roe 🙂
